my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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