pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
