No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
