i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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