white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
