I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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