I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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