when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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