Got a toothbrush?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
