Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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