I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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