he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
