I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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