you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
