ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
