she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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