Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
