She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
