look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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