You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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