Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
