would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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