I like to think it a success when the cops are called
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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