I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
