Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
