grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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