Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
