You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
