Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
