You're so nebulous sometimes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
