Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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