Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
