omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
