THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
