There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
