So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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