Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
