dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize