question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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