I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
as a side note pls kill me
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
