you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
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I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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