If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
