47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
