and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize