I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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