You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
