return my video game
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
