physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
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I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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