okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
