Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You ate ashes out of my bong
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
