Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
