is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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