girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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