I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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