Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
