DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
