he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
