Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
