found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
