You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
