brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
