I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just cropdusted the office
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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