I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
